Finances

I worry too much about finances.
I wish i didn't. It just adds unnecessary stress.
But the truth is, it's hard to make a living with the salary i am given. Maybe if i lived by myself.
But at the same time, my parents have done this for years, and with my mother never earning a second source of income.
How?
Through prayer. My dad is a prayer and fasting warrior. And it's so amazing how prayers are answered for my family and father.
My dad resigned from a church when we used to live in Santa Barbara through unnecessary church politics that would not allow my dad to do God's ministry.

My dad was later given a church to start from scratch. Basically, my dad had no income for his family. What did my dad do? Turn to prayer and fasting.
What happened?
He got a call from a family in Orange County who once heard my dad speak at a revival. Called and said that he felt moved to provide some financial help for my dad and his family. That family in OC gave my father 2000 a month for about 2 years.

I don't know how my dad felt during those times. I don't know if he felt as anxious as i do quite often. I can learn from him, though.
Turning to prayer can help... i don't expect God to send money my way, but i do expect the 'peace of God that transcends all human understanding will guard [my] heart in Christ Jesus.'

I just put too much worry and anxiety into this.
And every time, i have certain passages that come to heart.
Such as, do not worry, for even the sparrows are taken care of, and how much more precious am i than the birds (paraphrasing).

I just need to worry less and trust more.

Another Update

today, we got a call saying that our application for the house we wanted were accepted and that we could move in this weekend.
We originally wanted to buy a house, but that proved to be too expensive, especially in Hawaii. it's ridiculously expensive. So we decided to rent, and this house was the best one that we saw.
So starting this weekend, no longer in our parent's house and no longer have to share a twin size bed.

On another note, today at Ala Moana, we saw the guy that plays Sawyer on Lost. he was walking really fast. i didn't have a camera. so we just stared at him and his Asian date walking away from us. He was walking fast.

=)

Getting Along With Your Boss

So Marty Schottenheimer was fired from the Chargers because, basically, he couldn't get along with AJ Smith.
And Marty is a good coach. He's turned around 4 franchises. Just never really got it done in the playoffs (5-13 in playoffs).
He finished the season with a 14-2 record. The last coach to get fired after a 14 win season was in the 20's. (how do i know that? i don't know).

But today as i was coming home from church, i was listening to ESPN radio and they were talking about no matter how good you're at your job, it doesn't really matter if you cannot get along with your boss, which is why Marty got fired.

I keep forgetting how much humility is needed to be working at church (and of course elsewhere).
I personally feel that i do not need to completely like the people i work with. when there's that many people involved, it's expected that i won't like everyone. but it's imperative that i respect them and love them, and find ways to mutually exist. and that requires tremendous amount of humility.

Looking back, so many problems in the churches i've been involved in could've been resolved with a little humility.

At this church, my relationship with the senior pastor (my boss) is ... weird. It's not bad. I just don't think there's that much relationship there. It's hard working with 1st Generation Koreans. Basically, i feel like the senior pastor has given me freedom to do whatever i think is necessary until i screw up.
While i like that freedom, i don't think it's the healthiest way to do ministry.
And i wouldn't be surprised if other Korean church youth pastors feel that way.

I just realized i could go on a whole different tangent on the relationship between first generation koreans and the second generation. but i'll save that for later.

Tomorrow is Valentine's Day. I have to be at church. So the wife and i are celebrating today.

Nothing Important to Say

I'm just a little tired from the weekend.
I have nothing to post. Today was supposed to be my day off, but it sure didn't feel like it.
I met with my mentor to kick off the candidacy process. better late than never.

there just seems to be so much unnecessary stuff...

We also had River of Life tonight. It's a homeless shelter, and every other month, we go help serve dinner to the less fortunate.

I guess what bothers me about that is some of the adults that we work with feel good about their work that they did that day.
i'm sure it's helpful, but it's such a small amount.
i'm grateful that they come out and help, but we shouldn't go home thinking that we did enough.

I'm trying to shop around my Les Paul Special Humbucker guitar to see what i can trade it in for, or how much i can get with it. (something in my heart tells me to be happy with what i have).
I love the guitar, but i'm leaning a little bit towards Fender guitars right now.
But if i can't find a good deal, i'll definitely be happy with my "Baby."


I'm sorry i wasted your time. My mind is just tired, and i need to go to bed.

What's Taking Jesus So Long...

So like i posted earlier, we decided that the sermons on Sundays and Bible Studies on Fridays will be based on the Apostle's Creed. The bible studies will be taking my sermons deeper...

anyway, so this Friday was the first Bible Study.
We have 10 small groups, and i don't lead one, so i get to choose which one to sit in on.

I sat in one of the 10th grade ones, and it was rather interesting. I know my bible study lessons aren't the best and most fun things in the world... but it gets interesting when kids take some of the questions, and start reflecting on what things mean to them and so forth...

The group started talking about creation, and one got off on a tangent of different planets and life on other planets and if they believe in God, and if God created them and so forth.
The guy was talking about maybe God made an alternate universe across the galaxy where in this planet, Adam and Eve didn't take the apple... it got pretty weird (he's a weird kid, a good boy, but a tad bit weird.) heh.

then another boy chimed in saying that the universe just seems too big and too vast for us to be the only form of life.
then he became silent.
then he said, "OH! maybe that's what's taking Jesus so long for him to come back to us. He's stopping by all these other planets before he gets to earth."

I couldn't stop laughing.

i love our kids.

Keeping Sabbath

I think one of the most annoying questions or comments that i get from people are: you must have an easy job (because i only work on sundays) and what do you all the other days?

I don't think many realize how busy all pastors are.
We don't have set hours. Sure, i have office hours that i keep, but just because it's outside office hours, i am not going to ignore someone who is in desperate need.
"pastor joe, my father just died of a heart attack..."
"hey, i'm really sorry, but let's talk about this tomorrow, it's really not my office hours.."

yikes.
and the Korean churches just expect too much out of their pastors. they expect pastors to do a lot of work, and be very holy and upright, to compensate for their guilty feelings.
I specifically told them that i wanted to concentrate on youth when i got here.
but instead, i'm doing both youth and young adult ministries. not only that, on wednesdays, i have to do children's ministry stuff. i downplay how much i can speak Korean, because then i'd be doing a lot more. every time someone asks me something in Korean, i reply in English. I know it's bad, and dishonest, but it's for the sake of my sanity and preventing myself from burning out.

that's why Sabbath is so important.
At seminary, i never did well to give time for me. When it wasn't school, it was church work. When it wasn't church, it was school stuff.
by the end of my 3rd year, i was tired and more impatient with the kids that i ministered to.
It's amazing how one can get lost in the work at the church.
it's even more amazing how one can get so caught up in doing God's work and lose sight of God.

The biggest problem of the Korean-American pastors is that they burn out too quickly. That has to do with the pressure and expectation from the Korean church. It's also because many Korean-Americans don't understand the concept and importance of Sabbath.

we let our service exceed our worship
and we allow increasing our ministry to decrease our intimacy with God.
It's just that many of us equate our spiritual health with our doing God's work, the more i do, the more spiritual i am.
and that leads us into trouble.

I don't think the adults understand the fact that i keep myself away from all church stuff on Mondays, unless it's an emergency.
It's a nice way to just refresh my mind and refocus on what is ahead of me and bask in the glory of God.
I don't care that they understand, but they should be thankful, because the fact i'm doing this, i'll be able to serve them, their youth, and God much longer.

At The Church Office

My office is in like the basement part of the church. When i'm in my office, i'm basically segregated from the world. Everyone's upstairs, but i'm downstairs all by my lonesome self. Not only that, i don't have internet. Our church still uses AOL (!!!). I haven't had dial up since i was in high school. And i realized how much i depend on Internet to get some work done. Basically, i don't like spending time in the office, and i try to avoid it as much as possible. Instead, i set up my office at the Starbucks across the street. Still no internet (i'm not paying for the T-mobile hotspot) but at least i get to people watch, which always provides as a good distraction from the work. heh.

Anyway, today i was the office, i parked my car right in front so i could kinda see my car from the window when i stand. I was in there for the most part of the time i was at church.

When i decided to leave, i saw that the driver's door wasn't closed all the way. i thought it was rather odd because i knew i shut all the door. So i walked closer and saw that someone went through my car.
The radio face was taken out and it was on top of the seat. There were envelopes and receipts scattered around the car. The glove compartment had been opened. But nothing was missing and thank God. I just got the car radio for Christmas from my wife. My iPod was in the glove compartment (the car radio is for my iPod.)

I concluded that it was a homeless person who just looked for some quick cash, because i couldn't possibly understand why everything was still there.

I also tried to figure out when this happened. I was at the office pretty much all day, except for a couple of minutes where i had to run upstairs to the main office to pick up mail. Maybe it was when i was trying to pick praise songs for Sunday worship and i was playing the guitar.
I don't know, but i'm going to be more careful now.

That concludes my post for the day.

Good night, everyone.

Superbowl XLI

Ah.
Well, i was rooting for the underdog, but oh well.

I'm just bummed that football season is over.
At least the Wizards are doing well (Gilbert Arenas, MVP?)

I have hope for next season of the NFL.
Jason Campbell had a strong finish. The Defense played better at the end of the year. Sean Taylor continues to be a monster as a safety.
The Redskins will definitely do better than this disappointing season.

I'm happy for Tony Dungy.


Well, this week will be spent at Waikiki and Ala Moana in hopes to catch a glimpse of NFL pro-bowlers.

Couple of years ago, my brother got me a football with LaRoi Glover (Cowboys) and Pisa Tanoimosa (Rams) autographs. But most impressive? that football also has Chad Johnson's.

We will see how Operation NFL Pro Bowl will fare this week.

Early Morning Prayer Service

It's more of a Korean Christian thing, i guess.
They hold a service early in the morning, starting around 5 or 530a.
Usually, they hold one everyday. Members come, pray and go to work. I guess it's almost like a morning Mass, but much earlier.

Well, our youth group has one too. (that's saying a lot, because i am NOT a morning person).
We are not as ambitious as the adults. We hold one every first saturday of each month at 530a.

Today was our Early Morning service.
I led a group of 7 students in prayer. And it was a great time.

Afterwards, we drove back home, and (what else?) went back to bed.

At 8 in the morning, i get a phone call.

I wake up, look at the clock and started freaking out.
I jumped out of bed and yelled, "Oh CRAP!"
the wife, startled, woke up and said, "what's wrong?"

i started panicking and told her, it's 8am!! it's 8am! i overslept. i slept through the morning service!!!

she just looked at me and said, 'stupid... we came back from the service. remember? you prayed for everyone???"

oh.

i felt really stupid and awkward.
she just rolled her eyes at me.

.. i went back to bed.. relieved.. but feeling stupid.

Blogging

Last night, the wife and i took out her cousin throughout the island. Her cousin is a flight attendant for Korean Air Lines, and she had a day off in our island.
We had dinner at this nice Japanese restaurant. Afterwards, we decided to go to Waikiki and walk around.

As we were walking out of the parking lot, the wife says that it's getting cold and asked if i could run back to the car to get her sweater from her backpack.
So i go back to the car, i find the sweater and started walking over to join the wife and the cousin.

As i was walking through the cars, i feel something wet hit me right above the chest. I had no idea what it was, and since it was rather dark, i couldn't see.

So i moved toward the street lights and saw an enormous sized bird poop on my shirt. I didn't even see nor hear any birds, and yet, there's this bird poop on me.
I couldn't believe it.

We stopped by a Starbucks, grabbed some water and napkins, and the wife helped me try to rub it off.
After our work, there was this large, dark, wet stain on my shirt.

I didn't care at all. Which was funny. Had this been 4 years ago, i would've freaked out, and walked into a store and buy a new shirt so i wouldn't be seen with such a stain.
I guess i am growing older and more mature...

actually, i think the real reason is that i'm married now.
I don't have to worry about looking good all the time or trying to impress anyone.

Heh.