Sleepless in Hawaii

Man.
No caffeine today... unless you count that one can of Pepsi.
Perhaps it's all in my head. I can't fall asleep.
And yes, the wife is sound asleep... no nevermind, she just complained i'm typing too loud on my laptop.
I should, then wrap this up before i feel the wrath of a woman who can't fall asleep.
(right now, i'm typing as slow and quietly as i can.)

I just think i have a lot of stuff on my mind. I tend to lose sleep when i have to think. perhaps because my brain is not used to being used this much...

But i've been given a lot of thought on the type of pastor i am, at this moment.
I've been asking myself, would i be a pastor that i'd want?

And i came with the answer: well, no not really.

I'm too comfortable in my comfort zone. I'm such an introvert that it does effect the way i do ministry. It takes a lot out of me to talk to new kids that enter the church. It takes a lot for me to search out and network.
The crazy and stupid thing is, i know i need to be more extroverted to be more effective.
Here lies my biggest problem that i see: i tend to wait for people to come to me.

That in my opinion is rather terrible. I should go to the youth that i serve instead of waiting for them to come to me.

My father (who is also a pastor) said that a ministry is effective when it uses both the head and the heart. But more from the heart.
That's my dad's theory. I tend to agree.
the problem is, i think i've been doing ministry completely with my head.
The bigger problem? I'm not that smart. =)

Youth Ministry, in particular, is all about the relationships.
And sadly, in my six months here, those relationships have been happening, but within the church setting only.
I need to get out more. I need to be in the missions field, rather than observe it from afar.
I want to be the best that i can possibly be in serving God.
And i am a firm believer that i can't be all too effective if i am in my comfort zone.

I am all too aware that God uses the weak to lead the strong.

My prayer is that God will equip me where i am weak, and humble me where i am strong.


Oh, and that i'll get some sleep throughout the week.