Finally, a Step Forward

Today I am (finally) a certified candidate.

It was kind of intimidating when I walked into the room with all the people waiting for me. They asked me all sorts of questions based on what I wrote, and I answered them as best as I could, at times, I felt I may be saying too much and that it was going to hurt me, like my Wesley Newsletter incident.

As they told me that they unanimously approved me, they gave me four affirmations.

One of them was that they enjoyed my honesty and found it refreshing and asked me to never let it water down.
I kind of thought that was funny. I told that too my wife on the drive home. She said that some of our college students like me because I'm refreshingly honest. I found that even funnier.

I never knew I was "refreshingly honest." I still don't think I am. But I do know who I am, and I like it. (I don't know if that sounds conceited). I like me. Sometimes.
And I don't like changing who I am for others just for the sake of being liked.
I don't like holding back what I have to say just for the sake of people not liking me or people getting offended. Over the years, I have gotten better at what to say and what NOT to say.
Someone is always going to get offended at what my opinion may be. But if I have to always worry about offending someone, I won't ever be able to be me. And I like being me. (sometimes).

They also suggested that I look into being appointed as a local pastor. I expressed the desire (and the need) for our students at my church to partake in Communion, but in a way they understand what it means. They have to do Communion with the adults and it's in a language they can't understand fully (Korean language with Theology sprinkled on it). So Communion to them has become something that they just go through the motions of and not understand the importance and the wonder of it all.

I'm a step closer to ordination, yet it all seems so far away.

Moving On

It's been a while since I've updated.
Tomorrow, I have my meeting/interview with dCOM.
I'm just glad that I'm finally getting the ball moving on the whole ordination process.

As I evaluate my life and my calling, I find myself wanting to move away from youth ministry. I still love working with the youth, but I think I'm just preparing myself for the next part of my life.

If I become a senior pastor of a congregation, I'd still make sure that our youth ministry will be a strong part of our church.

But, this is not really my choice, is it?

I will go wherever I'm called to go.

Korean Congregations Killing Pastors

Yes. That's how I strongly feel.
Korean congregations, for the most part, are not pastor friendly. It's ridiculous of what they expect and want from their pastors.

There's no room for error nor grace.
Many Korean pastors I know sacrifice their families to run their ministries. That's a ridiculous concept. Some pastors I know even glorify their decision. In my opinion, that is NOT the way to do things, because ministry starts at home. But the more I am involved in Korean congregations, the more I see that, for the majority of the Korean pastors, there is no room to serve both family and ministry because of the demands that the people put on them.

This is what I feel, that the church knows they are not perfect, but they don't really want to be. They'd rather see it in their leader.

The congregation drives around in a BMW. The pastor bought a volvo, the congregation complained that a volvo is too pricey of a car for the pastor to drive. if the pastor has enough money to buy a volvo, the church is paying the pastor too much.

The congregation carry designer purses such as Coach etc. The pastor's wife carries around a real Louis Vuitton and the congregation believes that the pastor's wife should carry fake bags at best.

The congregation, expects, no demands, that they have vacation time from their jobs. But refuses to see why their pastor needs to take vacations.
I'm actually afraid to go and ask how many weeks of vacation I get in a year, since I'm not appointed and a local church hire.
Even more to actually say I'm going on vacation because the senior pastor doesn't take one (WHICH IS FREAKING RIDICULOUS!!!!!!), either because he can't nor he doesn't want to (WHICH IS STILL FRIGGIN RIDICULOUS!!!).

This is why many second generation Korean pastors leave the Korean congregation or the ministry altogether, because people should not and cannot function in such conditions.
Korean pastors with healthy families seem rare and that is saddening.

I know that there are problems within all cultures and congregations. This is just one of the bigger ones in my context and I wish there were ways to teach the Korean congregation that pastors are human, pastors make mistakes, pastors have the same (similar) needs and desires as everyone else.

A part of me is praying that after I get ordained, I will not have anything to do with the Korean church. This thought saddens me.

Little Things

This is what I've been concentrating on, recently.
The little things, because little things go a long way.
I've been turned off by evangelists who proclaim that non-believers will go to hell. How can anyone accept the loving God, if they are going to hell by not following? Is it as a big turn off for you as me?

When people like that talk to me, I can't help but annoy them back. Yes, I know, it's the the very mature thing to do, but how can they expect me to be serious if they just told me I'm going to hell?

Anyway, the little things.
Like a warm and sincere hello to a new comer at a church.
A little note to your college students who are preparing for finals.
A visit at one of my church members workplace, just to say hello.
You know, things like that.
They go a long way.

I had a youth pastor, Doug Conrad. I don't remember any of the sermons he preached or ... nothing really that he taught.
But I do remember the little things he did, like look me in the eye when I spoke to him. His friendly hellos whenever I saw him.

Surely, I can't be wrong about this.

So what are the little things that pastors and Christians in general can do?

Rules of Engagement

Okay. There are certain public bathroom etiquettes that I as a man follow, but so should every other men in the world.

1. No Talking While Peeing
What I mean by that is, when I'm on the urinal, I don't want to be talking to anyone. Especially if I do not know you. If you have something to say, you can wait a couple of seconds until we are completely out of the bathroom. If you must get it off your chest immediately, then wait a second until we are both done and washing our hands. No talking while peeing. It's just weird.

2. The Every Other Urinal Rule
So if it's just me and you in the bathroom, and there are 3 or more adult urinals, then one urinal should serve as a buffer.
If I'm already on the urinal, and you come in, and it's just me and you, you should not go and use the urinal directly next to me unless A) it's the only other urinal B) the other urinal is a child's urinal. Other than that, if it's just me and you in the bathroom, and there's more than 3 urinals, keep at least one urinal between us. Preferably, I'd want us to be in the opposite ends of the bathroom, but that's not necessary.

3. No Straying of Eyes
Your eyes should only be in 1 of the 3 positions, and there is NO other option.
You should be 1) looking down into YOUR urinal, 2) looking straight into the wall, or 3) looking straight above you.
In no way should your eyes be wandering left to right. There's no reason for it to. If you want to talk to me while peeing, please refer to rule number 1. Just down, straight or straight up. Your eyes should be no where else.

4. For the Love of God, wash your hands!

5. Oh, and flush the toilet/urinal after yourselves! Geez!

I'm sure there is more.
Ah.

this happened to me once
6. No Hand Shaking in the bathroom.
Please do not offer your hand for a shake in the bathroom at any time, ESPECIALLY, before you wash your hands. Actually, no physical contact at all would be preferred in the bathroom. There's no reason for me to hug you or shake your hand in the bathroom. None whatsoever.


That's it for now.
Yes, I don't like public bathrooms.


Care to add anymore?

I'm Never Gonna Get Certified

When I moved to Hawaii, our goal was to get me certified by this Annual Conference, since I've waited so long.
It was funny to see how many people were upset with me for putting of the process for so long.

So I took the psychological assessment, but the results never came in, which started to get me worried.
However, this week, I got a letter from the Samaritan Counseling Center in Upland, CA (yes, California) informing me that they received my assessment and they are ready to interview me.

what...?

So I called my mentor and found out that the person that does the interviews and assessments in Hawaii quit and his replacement is coming in July.
He said he'll try whatever he can for me not to fly up to Cali, because it is very inconvenient for me.
I got an email saying that I'll probably have to fly up there. So I called the counseling center back and tentatively scheduled an appointment. Turns out, there is a chance I can't do the Tier 1 and Tier 2 assessments in one day, so I'll have to stay in California at least 3 days. Which just sucks.

Not only that, I just checked flights. The airfare was at least 5oo dollars. And it'll only go up. Not to mention the hotel stay and a rental car.

My mentor said he'll see if the Board will be able to pay for my expenses because "this isn't your fault."
But a part of me feels really bad that the board would have to shell out more than 500 dollars for me.

This Candidacy thing... it's just too much.
I'm not crazy. I promise... well, define crazy first... but I'm not crazy enough to be locked up. I promise.


So here's me, waiting to see if I can go ahead and purchase my tickets OR, if i need to wait until next year. Either way, it feels like a lose-lose situation.

Church Members

So I got a call from my mom today.
There was this church member who has been attending my dad's church for at least 4 years.
The wife was a regular. Her husband, was there quite often. Their youngest kid who is in college comes out to my church's young adult service.

Anyway, they didn't come to church last Sunday, and told my father that they were going to go to a different church.
My father and mother went up to their house just to make sure that everything was OK. Just to make sure that there wasn't any bad blood between members, may be even have them come back after church shopping etc.

They asked why the family was leaving my dad's church. The answer?

The husband didn't like golfing with the men at dad's church. It's not long he didn't get along with them. I just think he didn't like them as golf partners.

!!!!

It made me upset and it made me laugh at the same time.
I mean, is golf partners a legit reason to leave a church?
Perhaps it is, but I just don't see it.

May be you can enlighten me, but I just don't get.

Golf?

New Comers Lunch

Every Tuesday, our church has a Bible study group for the new comers of our church.
And every Tuesday, they eat lunch together. I try to avoid eating lunch with them because 1) I like being anti-social 2) the food is not that great... 3) they're all old...

But today, I was hungry, and I sucked it up and sat down and ate lunch with them and our pastor and the associate pastor.

While I was eating, I realized that we were the only males in the room. All the new comers are females.
Then I realized that majority of our congregation members are female.
Even in my dad's church, the majority of them are females.

Is it like that in other cultures?

And, if so, why is it that the women are more inclined to come to church?

And what are ways to effectively reach males?
Many of the Korean members, it's the wife that faithfully goes to church and the husband that stays home, or grudgingly tags along.
I'm sure that applies to all cultures too.

What are things we can do (and that are being done) to effectively reach out to males?

First Love...

Sometimes, I'm so busy in pursuing what I need to do, I often forget my first love.
Recently, praise and prayer just seemed to be dry. And if it feels dry to me, I'm sure that my leaders and my students can feel it to.

When it comes to picking songs for praise, I find myself being frustrated. All the songs sounds the same, we've done these songs over and over, there is nothing new.
I never felt that way before.

When I pray in prayer groups, it takes a long time for me to actually get the words out.

Then, this morning, lying on the couch and looking out the window, it hit me, I forgot my first love.

I forgot that when we sing praise, it's singing a love song to God, for God. It shouldn't really matter that the songs sound the same or we've done it over and over. It's for God. As long as our hearts in the right place, and God focused... that's all the matters.

In the past two weeks, I've been so busy, I forgot to just spend time with the Bible and read and meditate.


It's scary how pastors are so caught up in the work of the church and helping others with their spiritual lives, that they completely ignore their own.

I'm glad that staring out the window and seeing the trees and the sky, I had this somewhat epiphany. I picked up on Jeremiah where I left off too long ago.

Came across this verse:
Although our sins testify against us, O Lord, do something for the sake of your name
Jeremiah 15:7a

It just reminded me the faithfulness of God. That God will remain faithful to me and my church, even though I have been unfaithful to Him over and over.

I laid back down on the couch, and stared out the same window.

I was reminded that I briefly lost track of my first love.

I fell asleep on the couch and woke up hearing my wife (who has a beautiful voice) and her friend (who's visiting) practicing some praise songs.

I woke up feeling rested and renewed.

God is good.

Co-Director of Youth

So, my name will appear on the recommended list of District leadership positions to be approved by the district on 5/16. And I'd begin my work in July. At least, that's what the letter said. But, if it needs to approved, I didn't understand "your work will begin in July." Oh well.

I've been thinking about this a lot lately.
I talk to the senior pastor of Aiea UMC (the church that we share a building with) because he's done this for 7 years. He said the two main things I need to do is hold a spring or summer retreat and to take kids to the Annual Conference.

That's something I think I can handle. But there are so many youths here in Hawaii who won't go to these things. Basically, there's too many of them and so little of me.
So what I was thinking of doing is just gathering all the UMC youth leaders (could I also try to reach out to non-UMC youth leaders..?) and meet once a week for a couple of months or so and equip them to reach out to their students, because they would know their students need more than I ever would.

I don't think I'd be the best teacher, but I think I have some valuable insights that I picked up during youth ministry courses in Seminary.
But I think, more than this be me teaching them, it'll be us teaching one another, supporting and affirming one another, to build healthier ministries and provide a place where kids can explore and deepen their faith. That way, when we do have big events such as retreats and stuff, we can get the youth leaders to be more involved so that it won't all be on my and Mr. Tony (the person that I'd work with).

Now, this sounds all good in my head. And looks pretty good as I am rereading what I am posting.

But will it actually work out?

The thing I'm frustrated with being in Hawaii is that people are too laid back, especially when it comes to the churches. Or ,maybe that's just me, and what I just said is a very broad and general statement.

Well, the only thing I can really do is pray, and pray, and pray.
And I intend to do that.

This is going to be hard. Especially with all the work I have to do in my own church.
But this is also going to be fun and exciting and I know that this is part of my call from God. And God promises that wherever I go, He will be with me.